American Public Told to Forget COVID Tyranny as Govt. Uses New Ukrainian Neurolyzer
Biden Blames Corn Pop for Supply Chain Woes. Reminds America “He’s a bad dude”
President Biden Asks Congress for $500 Billion to Fund New Race Card.
The President said: “Come on man, the inks worn off the old card, you can’t read the darn thing.”
CNN Ratings Soar After Deciding To Just Stream Fox News
CNN ratings have achieved levels not seen since the first Iraq war. CNN President Jeff Zucker attributes this unprecedented jump to firing his entire staff and just streaming Fox News. “It was a stroke of genius,” Zucker said of himself. “We are so far up Fox’s a-hole we can tell what Tucker ate for breakfast. […]
Americans eagerly await Biden’s “Just Don’t Do Anything” plan.
Coffee shop guitarist drops dead after discovering people actually listening.
New “woke” friendly lingerie, just plain burlap bag.
Benedict Cumberbatch in negotiations to appear in every movie.
Suggestion box placed in oval office so joe biden can feel included
“More Ice Cream” and “Less Malarkey” among the many suggestions.